Posted by
L.
In:
A 3 Cord Strand Not Easily Broken
4 more weeks and I’ll be a Mrs.! How in the world did that
happen?! As I continue on this journey of discovering marriage I am in awe of
the Lord’s design. As my post about surrendering singlehood testifies this hasn’t
always been an easy journey. In fact at the beginning it was with a reluctant
heart that I allowed the Lord to open my eyes to his definition and design of
marriage. But how glad I am of his persistence to purify my ideas and heart of
what marriage truly is.
While I was on the World Race I met, became best friends,
and fell in love with the most incredible man. How surprised I was when this
man, a man of integrity and honor, desired me, and pursued me! This man of
purity and character ACTUALLY wanted me. Did I mention he is stunningly
handsome!? To be completely honest I
didn’t think I deserved him and have tested him and left the door open so that
he could leave if he wanted to, I expected him to. Yet every time I would share
a part of me that was difficult and I expected would be a deal breaker he drew
closer to me, attracted to the vulnerability of my heart. He understood who I
really was, it wasn’t the mistakes of the past, present or future that define
who I am, but rather the image of God in me that defines me. I am continually
blown away by this man, I’ve never known a man to love like he does,
unconditionally, patiently.
In the past I have been fearful that a relationship with a
man would only cause distraction and a hindrance from my relationship with the
Lord. I loved my close intimate dependent relationship with the Lord and never
wanted it to change, or have someone ruin it. I thought that I would have less
energy to love the Lord like I did when I was single, and that my attentions
would be divided. To some degree this is true. My attentions are now divided,
but also multiplied. My relationship with the Lord has never been richer and my
understanding of who he is to me has never been clearer. It is through this
relationship with this man, that I will soon call husband, that he has taught
me about his deep love for me. I can’t tell you how many times as we traveled
and navigated this relationship and its joys and difficulties that I’ve said, “Ah
Lord, that’s how you pursue me, that’s how you love me, but times infinity.
That’s how you want me to pursue you, love you, respond to you, and receive
from you”. Marriage is part of the Lord’s design to give us an earthly taste
and representation of who he is for us and who we are to him, deeply desired,
beloved. And a foretaste for what is to come.
This is only the beginning and I can’t possibly know what
lessons are to come, and what depths are to be reached, but I can’t wait for
the adventure of marriage.
Posted by
L.
In:
Shut Up In My Bones
We are at the core made up of bones. It is the foundation of our frames.
They are the things that allow us to move, and have our being. They are the launching pad of every possibility in our physical world.
But, what is at the core of those bones?
What is it that makes them up, composes them?
What is the foundation?
What are you and I? What is the Foundation of who we are?
What am I composed of? At the core of me, what is there?
Tonight I'm haunted by the Love of the Creator.
I'm tripping hard core on that Love. THE Love.
You see there is a fire shut up in my bones. Ignited from my very beginning. Even before I was knit together in my mother's womb. In the design plans of me, the essence of who I am, my Creator made me out of the fire of PASSION. His deep, deep passionate love. I was birthed, cut from the fabric of LOVE.
There is a fire shut up in these bones. It is a fire of passion. Born out of love!
In You we live and move and have our being. (Acts 17:28) Apart from you I cannot understand me, I cannot understand the foundation of me, the fire shut up in my bones. Or perhaps the fire is only lit when we encounter The Love, You, and begin to understand the fabric of our beings. All I know is that when I'm far from you I feel cold, stony, uninspired, dead. But when I'm near you everything ignites. I come alive, I gulp the fresh air of life. I am revived. I am reminded, like a tree in spring, how to bloom, and flourish and be what I was created to be. AND I SING, my heart soars, the rivers of joy rush to the low places and once again I am swept away. With the waves of who you are crashing over me, again and again. Covering me, shaping me, and spinning me round and round until I'm pulled in deep, and deeper still. Melting back into You, the fabric from which I was cut. I was created out of Love, for Love, to Love, to be Loved.
This is the Fire Shut Up In My Bones, this is the anthem that they sing:
"We love because He first Loved Us."
God IS Love.
Whoever Lives in LOVE Lives in GOD, and God in him.
And so we KNOW and RELY on the Love God has for us.
(1 John 4:19/1 John 4:16)
Live in love, for when you are living in love you are living in God! But remember that you cannot love, really love without knowing His love first. Receiving it, soaking in it, sucking it in, lapping it up, because we RELY on His love for us. So sit and soak it up and remind your bones of the fire that is inside of them.
There is a fire shut up in these bones.
Stoke the flames.
Let it out.
"I am weary of holding it [the fire shut up in my bones] in; indeed I cannot." Jeremiah 20:9
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