Into the glorious unknown...: February 2009

Praise the Lord I have direction!

So here's the deal, I'm staying in Mexico after all, for the summer at least. So here is the complete story:

I have to say up until about two weeks ago I didn’t think that I was
going to stay here in Oaxaca for my apprenticeship/internship. That all changed when Dan and Grant told the class that GFM was going stateside in about a year and would no longer be in Oaxaca, but rather focus on the large cities that have people from several different countries. I think God had been preparing my heart ever since we read a Perspectives article that talked about how strategic large cities are. It was one of those things that seems so obvious, but yet you don’t really think about it until someone points it out to you and lays it out in a way like the Perspectives does. 2 weeks ago during worship time I did a listening prayer and asked God if I was supposed to go ahead and do GFM USA and God gave me a yes, but being a human I asked God to give me clear confirmation on His answer. Last weekend while I was in Oaxaca I started to think about language school and was very excited about the prospect of doing language school if I got God’s confirmation to stay. Also last weekend I felt God’s peace rest upon me and I felt as I looked out the window in the suburban that this was going to be my home for the next year. Still I felt like peace and his yes in prayer wasn’t enough until last week when we talked about how God guides us in decisions, and sometimes it's through peace in our spirits. At that point I felt confident that God was leading me to stay here, which for now means language school in May, doing the apprenticeship this summer (June-August). After that hopefully I will also help out with MTS next year (September-April 2010) and helping to set up GFM USA, and then actually doing GFM USA where-ever that may be next summer. I will be home in April for a few weeks (probably April 9-May 1) so if you'd like to hear more about what God is doing in my life I'd love to tell you.

If you would like more information about GFM USA you can visit this link: http://www.globalfrontiermissions.com/usa/index.html

I'm still unsure how much I will need monthly for support and I will let you all know as soon as I know, but if you are interested in coming alongside me financially you can go to this link: https://www.justgive.org/nonprofits/donate.jsp?ein=31-1738321 and in the "Designate My donation" write: Leah Johnson

Thanks for all your prayers on my behalf for direction, I have really felt them the past months! I love all of you and if you have any questions please feel free to ask.

As I celebrate my 25th year of being in this world my one desire is that this next year be wholly and completely dedicated to the purposes of the Lord. I know that I just referenced a song in my last blog, but my life is heavily influenced by music so I'm sorry, but I guess you'll just have to bear with me:).

I have frequently thought about and prayed the song "I want it all" by Shane and Shane, but today God revealed a new thing to me that I would like to share with you all. In case you don't know the first part of the song goes like this:

Use me, break me, waste me on You, Lord
Ruin me, take me, waste me on You
For to die is to live...

To starve is to feast
And less of me is more of Jesus
Lord, I want it all
Lord, I want it all
If i lose my life
I gain everything
And at the cross
Away with all death's sting
Lord, I want it all
Lord, I want it all

In Philippians 1:21 It says: For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Today it struck me as I was listening to this song that this death that is talked about is not only physical death, but also death to my dreams and aspirations. In Western culture we are told that we have rights to personal happiness and comfort in our lives. I realized that up until now I wanted a relationship with Jesus on my terms and that meant having the life I desired: getting married, having a pleasant, enjoyable job, having kids, a nice house, spreading the love of God in the way I wanted, to retire comfortably, and enjoy my grandchildren, and die a peaceful death at the end of my life. (I would like to say here that I believe that God does call some people and blesses them with this type of life)

Now I realize that God calls us to give up everything including our lives to follow him. Of course I've heard this before, but I still clung to the idea that surely when God told Abraham in Genesis 12:1 "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you", and when Jesus told his disciples to leave everything to follow him; he didn't mean that I needed to literally leave/give up everything to follow him. Today I realized that yes he did mean me too, he wants every aspect of our lives to use for his glory. Today I say, if that means remaining single, going to a far off village where life is everything but convenient, not having contact with my family, not being able to retire in comfort, giving him my youth for his purposes instead of mine, releasing all other dreams and struggling financially for the rest of my life for the sake of His glory then I say "Praise the Lord!". Today I choose to die to myself and my human desires, because as Jesus says in Mark 10: 29-31: I tell you the truth, Jesus replied, no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. 31But many who are first will be last, and the last first.

God has so much to give to us, no it's not always the same success this world recognizes, but it is so much greater than that. He offers peace, joy, love and the best thing ever a personal relationship with Him that includes eternal life with Him. We will never experience these gifts while we chase after the things of the flesh, because God isn't concerned with what we can acquire, but instead He is concerned with our hearts. Where is your heart? As for me my heart is spoken for, Jesus is Lord of my life, I am his child and as a child of God I submit to his plans and his authority. His covering is the best place we can be.

Lord, I pray that as I start a new year of my life that I continue to remember that this world is not my home, and I need to live as such. I commit this year into your hands and will chase after your heart instead of my own.