Last night I said goodbye to two of the sweetest baby girls. For the past 7 months I watched them grow and change into 2 girls with distinct personalities and temperaments. I loved seeing them change from frankly 2 blobs of skin (mind you cute blobs) into 2 little people who are very different and sweet in their own ways. I went from not being able to tell them apart to being so familiar that it was hard for me to understand when others couldn't. I cheered for them as they reached new milestones in their young lives, and loved and cuddled them every chance I got.

For those of you that don't know the story, my sister and brother in law have been foster parents to twin girls. When they got them they were preemies and were probably the tiniest babies I've ever seen. You know those dolls that are in the toy stores that are called preemie dolls? The ones that look normal sized when a 3 year old holds them? That is exactly the way these two looked, they looked like dolls. It was unreal that a person could be that little. I remember holding them for the first time and feeling like I was holding the most fragile being in the world and that if I moved the child would break in my arms. Slowly my sister convinced me that I wasn't going to break them and they were just like any other newborn just a little smaller. I love my sister for that. I love her patience and guidance and her knowledge about babies. I love that God has given her an innate ability to sense and know a child's need. She truly amazes me. Those babies are lucky to have had her and her family these past 7 months, I only wish that they would remember her, but the reality is that they are very little and won't remember the love and care that was given to them at such a critical time in their lives.

Taking care of preemie twins is a tough, round-the-clock job. When they first arrived they needed to be fed every 2 hours around the clock. I'm not sure how my sister and brother-in-law accomplished this and functioned regularly but I'm pretty sure you won't argue when I say that it was an incredible feat. Luckily C&C (the babies) are really good babies and again very sweet temperaments, however that being so, babies are demanding creatures and rightly so. Who wants to sit in their own waste for any length of time? Who wants to lay on the ground staring at the same thing for minutes on end? Who wants an empty belly? I know I'm stating the obvious here, but I am amazed at any mother really. Babies are a LOT of work, and thank goodness they are such a joy and so cute, otherwise I'm pretty sure babies would be scarce. Times all that work by two, add in the foster care system, 2 school age children and a job and holy-time commitment batman! Seriously, my sister is super mom. My brother-in-law super dad. I'm not sure how they had time for anything else!

It's also been a joy to watch my niece and nephew with the girls. My niece especially has turned into quite the little mother. She seems so grown up when she is around the babies and spews out baby knowledge that I'm sure is half passed through her genes from her mother and half taught by her mother. She loves on those babies as if they are her own sisters and it breaks my heart a little when I think about C&C leaving their "older sister". I pray that God heals her little heart that will surely be broken to some degree when they leave, and that she will be able to continue to love them from afar. It's hard for a 5 year old to understand such grown up things and I can only pray that God will be her comforter and protector.

For me, I have guarded my heart on the subject until about 2 weeks ago. From the start I knew there was a chance that these girls would leave our lives soon and I think subconsciously I decided that I would guard my heart, letting them into the parts I decided. I loved the girls truly, but up until 2 weeks ago I only loved them as I love all the children at our church. I couldn't allow myself to love them as my nieces, it would be too painful when they left. Then for some reason 2 weeks ago I realized and had confidence in the fact that they were ours. I really believed that they would be with us, as a part of our family, forever and I let down my defenses slowly. Unfortunately this isn't how the story ends and tomorrow they will leave the C family, but I'm not regretful that I let them into my heart and I think to some extent I will always think of them as my nieces. I am grateful that God has been gracious and while I'm sad they are going, I'm ok with it and my heart will be ok. I will pray for them as they grow and think about them often and I will love them always.

I'm so very proud of my sister, and I'm so very lucky to have watched as she ministered to those babies, to their mother and other members of their family and to the case workers involved. She has been a light to all she has encountered and a testimony of God's love. Love you Shell.

We love you C&C. Always.